How we met: ‘I found her amazing fan fiction and escaped into this fantasy world’

Jacky never anticipated spending her life in South Africa. Originally from the UK, she became an English teacher in her 20s and lived in Europe and north Africa, before moving to Vietnam for 25 years. When she lost her partner to breast cancer in 2019, she decided to go to Spain to start a company that supported students studying abroad. “Then the pandemic hit and everything shut down,” she says. “Suddenly I was cut off from everything.”
She began reading and writing fan fiction online, a hobby she’d taken up as a form of escape when her partner became unwell. “There was a big group on Facebook for the lesbian storyline in the TV show Holby City, which was about two fiftysomething surgeons who had this electric chemistry between them,” says Jacky. Although she was not hoping to meet a new partner, the platform gave her an opportunity to connect with people and make friends.
One of the stories she’d written caught the attention of Philippa, a pastor from Cape Town in South Africa. “I’d always known I was gay but I worked for a Pentecostal church and had chosen the church over a relationship or exploring my sexuality,” she says. “For me, this secret was going to the grave. But when I discovered the story of these two characters on Holby City, I was drawn to it. I found Jacky’s amazing fanfic and escaped into this fantasy world.”
Philippa searched for Jacky’s Facebook page and they began chatting online, opening up about their lives. “She was so charismatic, funny and warm,” says Jacky. “I’m not religious but despite our differences, I felt very drawn to her.”
They got on so well that, when lockdown restrictions loosened in 2021, Jacky suggested she visit Philippa in Cape Town. “I was scared and excited,” says Philippa. “I lived with people from my church and the fear of coming out was so great.”
In September, they planned their first meeting with a road trip from Cape Town to Plettenberg Bay. “Before the trip, I was introduced to her community as a friend,” says Jacky. “We started our relationship slowly but really hit it off when we started travelling.”
Afterwards, they knew they wanted to be together but didn’t know how, due to the distance and Philippa’s job as a pastor in a conservative area. “After being alone so long, it was nice to be falling in love with someone, but that’s when the inner fighting with myself started,” says Philippa. “I was asking myself if it was a sin.”
Jacky went back to Spain but they continued to speak on Zoom every day. By early 2022, Jacky could see how much Philippa was struggling with the decision as to whether or not to come out. “I respected her but I didn’t want to hide. I told her I’d walk away if she wanted me to and left her to decide what she wanted to do.”
Philippa decided to tell another pastor at her church, as well as some close friends and family. “I cried my eyes out, but I agreed with the church that I needed to resign to figure things out.”
At the end of the year, Jacky sold her flat in the UK so they could buy a home together in Cape Town. They got married the day after they moved in, in front of three witnesses, followed by a restaurant lunch with champagne.
While Jacky is a humanist, she is respectful of her partner’s faith and has encouraged her to set up a local religious gathering for people in their area. “Leaving the church was a difficult time for me because it was my life’s work,” says Philippa. “I’ve gained more than I’ve lost and, although I still miss it, when I see the beautiful home we’ve created and my love with Jacky, I count myself blessed. I left the institution, but I love God and I’m still a pastor at heart.”
Jacky believes finding her wife was “a miracle”. Right from the start, they knew they’d always be honest with each other. “And never hide,” she adds. “I can’t imagine not being with her now – she’s my best friend.”